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PLEASE READ THE KARMA SECTION FIRST AND THEN COME THROUGH HERE FOR CONTINUITY

Relationships

First, a note of caution about relationships.

The tired and overburdened term "lack of communication" has been blamed for just about all the ills of the society. It's the quality of a relationship that builds bridges; not the other way around. If you don't trust, you don't talk. You can talk all you want, but if there is no common ground, there's no relationship. Have a meaningful relationship and communication will follow.

The happiness of any society is founded on the quality and integrity of relationships its members enjoy, may it be at home, at work, at play or for serious romance. Lately the subject has been analyzed from many angles and many functional models have been postulated. It is clear, perhaps more from a feminine perspective, that it is very difficult in these days, first, to develop a meaningful relationship and second, to nurture and maintain it at its fulfilling pace. Most of us can appreciate the fact that relationships can exist at many levels, from the platonic to the most sublime, i.e. from the intellectual to the emotional to the spiritual. The following brief comments and suggestions are germane to the specific area of interpersonal relationships where personal growth and harmony are the key objectives of the two partners. This is very special and rare. The beauty of this approach lies in the fact that soon the partners reach a mutually rewarding stage where progress made by one is automatically realized by the other for they are so much in tune with each other. Basic understanding of key elements and sincere selfless work by way of simple breathing and mental exercises is all that's required.

Can anyone fathom the depth of this relationship? (In these times!) Yes, yes.

First an overview

The seeds of all relationships - personal, family and business - first spring into your spiritual space as offsprings of your philosophy of life and your concept of the spiritual self. Please reread the sections, Darshan and Darshan Revisited further down this page for background information.

An understanding of the concept of Darshan is a must for this subject.

For a relationship to become important and meaningful it has to transform itself into a workable model in one's conscious mind. To achieve this the person moves it from her spiritual space into her emotional space where it is massaged by considerations appropriate to the situation. You start to develop nebulous feelings (reinforcing or rejecting) for the other person but still cannot express them into words because they are still in your subconscious mind. Soon you move them into your mental space where a big debate follows in which physical appearance, emotional factors, charisma, charm and cultural-social factors play a part. It is in this space that any articulation can take place as factors rise to the surface and are recognized by the parties. A clearer picture starts to emerge and things can now be expressed by speech from the mental space. Interaction can now begin, and it usually does. Some basic understanding starts to form.

It is obvious that the success of this exercise depends on quickly finding common ground in the three principal solitudes namely, spiritual, astral/emotional and physical/mental.

This is an oversimplification of a very complex picture. But it does cover the fundamental processes at work. People usually don't see things as black and white. Feelings can paint things in many shades of undefinable gray. Preconceived notions play a big part. "Love-at-first-sight" is a far more common phenomenon than is normally believed.

Three key elements to remember are:

Darshan
Darshan is a particular term for a specific set of nuances attached to its working to give it an all-
encompassing meaning when one person visits or meets another. Let us first begin with the physical presence of each other. Add the emotional ambiance of projecting goodwill, a sense of humanistic caring and reverence the physical presence brings with it. Further add the subtle expression in the eyes and an inclination to accept and cherish the beauty of human dignity. Further add the most significant element of the invisible spirituality (enigma) which prevails between two Aary people. Lastly, surround the two in the language of silence. A flow of elemental nuances is implicated.
When one pines for the other for no obvious reason, one is missing the other's darshan in a spirit of self-surrender. This happens spontaneously to many, quite frequently, especially between close friends and family members but people dismiss it out of hand as they are preoccupied or distracted. But if the feeling is followed through, in most cases a discovery of non-verbal communication is made.
The stage for the subtle effects to take root is set by the exchange of the greeting of namaste at the
beginning of any meeting, first or subsequent. When properly executed, it can initiate 'meditative silence', in some cases if things are not rushed.
Aary simply means "a person with an unimpeachable character."

Namaste

In the Sanskrit language, the language of gurus and meditators, there is but one form of greeting for all occasions. It is made up of three syllables, "na", "ma" and "te", literally saying, "I bow to you". In the context of the all-pervasive unity of things, the "you" represents the spiritual self rather than the visible person. So the real meaning is "I bow to the divine in you".

Pronunciation and effectiveness of namaste:
The "a"s are short in sound, "s" is short and crisp and the "e" at the end is a long "a". The greeting is usually followed by "ji"- a syllable of reverence. It is designed to create an atmosphere of mutual respect and goodwill, which is further reinforced by assuming a posture while exchanging the greeting. The palms of the hands come together in front of the chest. The head is bowed such that the chin is above the thumbs. In a reverential relationship, the chela or pupil fixes his eyes on the feet of the guru, a gesture of acquiescence. Why?
It is based on the phenomenon of transference - how we all continually reinvent each other according to our nonbiological blue-prints or roots. This phenomenon is said to have been discovered by Sigmund Freud in the eighteen-nineties in Vienna. But the gurus have been using it for thousands of years in a two-step relationship, chela-guru and chela-goddess/god. It works quite effectively in both cases.
 

Darshan revisited

In the greeting of namaste, one acknowledges the existence of the divine in the other. An air of goodwill based on equality is set afloat in order to set the stage for one of the most profound miracles in human interaction to play its part. Implicit in "darshan" are subtle interactions in the three spaces - body to body, verb to verb, pure I-Sense to pure I-Sense - of the two parties.

Let me first introduce you to the subject of "how the reality manifests itself in real-time" in an interaction, specially when two microcosms meet for the first time face to face. The unfolding phenomena take place in the "ferment" of the three solitudes in both parties. In the physical-mental space, the subjective reality is expressed through the mental processes where conceptualization takes place serially, one thought followed by another as there can never be a recognition of multiple thoughts in the human mind at once. Thoughts can then be expressed serially, giving rise to cerebral cause and effect reasoning. Physical beauty, body language, dress code and cultural aspects play a leading role at this level. The analytical ability to intellectually override a feeling also prevails here. The very common occurrence of the phenomenal "love-at-first-sight" is filtered out here as a conscious effort.

In the Emotional-astral space, a component of the reality is felt through the arousal of feelings, and many feelings intertwined in complex ways can present themselves at once. Some of the superficial ones, quick to register, e.g. fondness, like or dislike, indifference, hate and anger are immediately passed on to the Physical-mental space for translation through the intellectual apparatus. The complex emotions are difficult to fathom and unravel because they may have set afloat cantilevers projecting toward the Emotional-Spiritual synapse. This is the reason why people have difficulty in thinking clearly when they are in a serious emotional predicament.

Now, in the Spiritual space, the prevalent reality of a crucial moment is not understood, until it has been realized experientially, that is, one has to go through the aftermath of the situation in a living mode. It materializes spontaneously at the moment of meeting at some level, but its true nature is rarely recognized right away. It can take the form of an instant flash of a "revelation", or it can be hauntingly agonizing, the meaning seeping into conscious awareness over a long period of time, if at all. It remains vague and cannot be verbalized. Most people choose to ignore it and eventually they forget about it. This happens to all of us all the time as we meet people and interact with them. Actually at the first encounter, the two consciousnesses interact with each other and undefined airs and auras of compatibilities are struck, which register as likes and dislikes superficially. If only, one could master the art of immediately understanding the true meaning of the interaction! It is this "experiential" flash of recognition - a darshan - that materializes in the mind of a new devotee when her true spiritual leader appears in front of her for the first time. When one has a vision of the divine Goddess, it's a darshan.

This is the phenomenon of darshan. It is capable of binding two people through a spontaneous "recognition" at the unmanifest level. In common parlance the hope is that when you seek the darshan of another, somehow the spiritual nuances will influence your being with a positive consequence for your personal growth.

I am sorry if this sounds complicated. But, this is what is happening at the beginning of a relationship. Now you know why they just about always fail.

Now the importance of seed-ideas is being explained.

Seed-ideas are the working models of aphorisms, which tend to be tersely worded or condensed statements of first principles. They appear to be simple and straightforward in their import on the listeners. Upon acceptance by the pupils, they operate on their belief systems from the inside. Over time, they can change their fundamental attitude to the philosophies of their lives.

I urge you to recall the two sets of the seed-ideas with a quiet mind at least once a day before going into meditation.

Our magic wand

This trishule symbolizes the integration of our three solitudes or spaces, namely, Physical/mental, Emotional/Astral and Spiritual into a single axis. This axis is physically present in our body. You can work wonders with your health and well-being with this knowledge.


 
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Copyright Declaration

Material on this and linked pages at this site is the intellectual offering of Ravi Sadana, derived from his two books . This will prepare you for the challenges of this difficult millenium. Please feel free to browse and review the writing samples and Kiren-maya's choice readings.

Ravi Sadana, Servant of humanity, Updated on: October 9, 2002

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