PLEASE READ THE KARMA SECTION FIRST AND THEN
COME THROUGH HERE FOR CONTINUITY
First, a note of caution about relationships.
The tired and overburdened term "lack of communication" has been blamed
for just about all the ills of the society. It's the quality of a relationship
that builds bridges; not the other way around. If you don't trust, you
don't talk. You can talk all you want, but if there is no common ground,
there's no relationship. Have a meaningful relationship and communication
The happiness of any society is founded on the
quality and integrity of relationships its members enjoy, may it be at
home, at work, at play or for serious romance. Lately the subject has been
analyzed from many angles and many functional models have been postulated.
It is clear, perhaps more from a feminine perspective, that it is very
difficult in these days, first, to develop a meaningful relationship and
second, to nurture and maintain it at its fulfilling pace. Most of us can
appreciate the fact that relationships can exist at many levels, from the
platonic to the most sublime, i.e. from the intellectual to the emotional
to the spiritual. The following brief comments and suggestions are germane
to the specific area of interpersonal relationships where personal
growth and harmony are the key objectives of the two partners. This is
very special and rare. The beauty of this
approach lies in the fact that soon the partners reach a mutually rewarding
stage where progress made by one is automatically realized by the other
for they are so much in tune with each other. Basic understanding of key
elements and sincere selfless work by way of simple breathing and mental
exercises is all that's required.
Can anyone fathom the depth of this
relationship? (In these times!) Yes, yes.
First an overview
The seeds of all relationships - personal, family
and business - first spring into your spiritual space as offsprings of
your philosophy of life and your concept of the spiritual self. Please
reread the sections, Darshan and Darshan Revisited further down this page
for background information.
An understanding of the concept of Darshan
is a must for this subject.
For a relationship to become important and meaningful
it has to transform itself into a workable model in one's conscious mind.
To achieve this the person moves it from her spiritual space into her emotional
space where it is massaged by considerations appropriate to the situation.
You start to develop nebulous feelings (reinforcing or rejecting) for the
other person but still cannot express them into words because they are
still in your subconscious mind. Soon you move them into your mental space
where a big debate follows in which physical appearance, emotional factors,
charisma, charm and cultural-social factors play a part. It is in this
space that any articulation can take place as factors rise to the surface
and are recognized by the parties. A clearer picture starts to emerge and
things can now be expressed by speech from the mental space. Interaction
can now begin, and it usually does. Some basic understanding starts to
It is obvious that the success of this exercise
depends on quickly finding common ground in the three principal solitudes
namely, spiritual, astral/emotional and physical/mental.
This is an oversimplification of a very complex
picture. But it does cover the fundamental processes at work. People usually
don't see things as black and white. Feelings can paint things in many
shades of undefinable gray. Preconceived notions play a big part. "Love-at-first-sight"
is a far more common phenomenon than is normally believed.
Three key elements to remember are:
Relationship is always founded in the spiritual
Similar processes are going on in the other person's
The original "seed" in the spiritual space is
a sublime element. It gets diluted when it moves into
the emotional space and again, when it moves
into the mental space.
This is the nature of a human being!
Darshan is a particular term
for a specific set of nuances attached to its working to give it an all-
encompassing meaning when one
person visits or meets another. Let us first begin with the physical presence
of each other. Add the emotional ambiance of projecting goodwill, a sense
of humanistic caring and reverence the physical presence brings with it.
Further add the subtle expression in the eyes and an inclination to accept
and cherish the beauty of human dignity. Further add the most significant
element of the invisible spirituality (enigma) which prevails between two
Lastly, surround the two in the language of silence. A flow of elemental
nuances is implicated.
When one pines for the other
for no obvious reason, one is missing the other's darshan
in a spirit of self-surrender. This happens spontaneously to many, quite
frequently, especially between close friends and family members but people
dismiss it out of hand as they are preoccupied or distracted. But if the
feeling is followed through, in most cases a discovery of non-verbal communication
The stage for the subtle effects
to take root is set by the exchange of the greeting of namaste at the
beginning of any meeting, first
or subsequent. When properly executed, it can initiate 'meditative silence',
in some cases if things are not rushed.
Aary simply means "a person
with an unimpeachable character."
In the Sanskrit language, the language
of gurus and meditators, there is but one form of greeting for all occasions.
It is made up of three syllables, "na", "ma" and "te", literally saying,
"I bow to you". In the context of the all-pervasive unity of things, the
"you" represents the spiritual self rather than the visible person. So
the real meaning is "I bow to the divine in you".
Pronunciation and effectiveness
The "a"s are short in sound,
"s" is short and crisp and the "e" at the end is a long "a". The greeting
is usually followed by "ji"- a syllable of reverence. It is designed to
create an atmosphere of mutual respect and goodwill, which is further reinforced
by assuming a posture while exchanging the greeting. The palms of the hands
come together in front of the chest. The head is bowed such that the chin
is above the thumbs. In a reverential relationship, the chela or pupil
fixes his eyes on the feet of the guru, a gesture of acquiescence. Why?
It is based on the phenomenon
of transference - how we all continually reinvent each other according
to our nonbiological blue-prints or roots. This phenomenon is said to have
been discovered by Sigmund Freud in the eighteen-nineties in Vienna. But
the gurus have been using it for thousands of years in a two-step relationship,
chela-guru and chela-goddess/god. It works quite effectively in both cases.
In the greeting of namaste, one acknowledges the existence of the divine
in the other. An air of goodwill based on equality is set afloat in order
to set the stage for one of the most profound miracles
in human interaction to play its part. Implicit in "darshan" are
subtle interactions in the three spaces - body to body, verb to verb, pure
I-Sense to pure I-Sense - of the two parties.
Let me first introduce you to the subject of "how the reality manifests
itself in real-time" in an interaction, specially when two microcosms meet
for the first time face to face. The unfolding phenomena take place in
the "ferment" of the three solitudes in both parties. In the physical-mental
space, the subjective reality is expressed through the mental processes
where conceptualization takes place serially, one thought followed by another
as there can never be a recognition of multiple thoughts in the human mind
at once. Thoughts can then be expressed serially, giving rise to cerebral
cause and effect reasoning. Physical beauty, body language, dress code
and cultural aspects play a leading role at this level. The analytical
ability to intellectually override a feeling also prevails here. The very
common occurrence of the phenomenal "love-at-first-sight" is filtered out
here as a conscious effort.
In the Emotional-astral space, a component
of the reality is felt through the arousal of feelings, and many feelings
intertwined in complex ways can present themselves at once. Some of the
superficial ones, quick to register, e.g. fondness, like or dislike, indifference,
hate and anger are immediately passed on to the Physical-mental space for
translation through the intellectual apparatus. The complex emotions are
difficult to fathom and unravel because they may have set afloat cantilevers
projecting toward the Emotional-Spiritual synapse. This is the reason why
people have difficulty in thinking clearly when they are in a serious emotional
Now, in the Spiritual space, the prevalent
reality of a crucial moment is not understood, until it has been realized
experientially, that is, one has to go through the aftermath of the situation
in a living mode. It materializes spontaneously at the moment of meeting
at some level, but its true nature is rarely recognized right away. It
can take the form of an instant flash of a "revelation", or it can be hauntingly
agonizing, the meaning seeping into conscious awareness over a long period
of time, if at all. It remains vague and cannot be verbalized. Most people
choose to ignore it and eventually they forget about it. This happens to
all of us all the time as we meet people and interact with them. Actually
at the first encounter, the two consciousnesses interact with each other
and undefined airs and auras of compatibilities are struck, which register
as likes and dislikes superficially. If only, one could master the art
of immediately understanding the true meaning of the interaction! It is
this "experiential" flash of recognition - a darshan
- that materializes in the mind of a new devotee when her true spiritual
leader appears in front of her for the first time. When one has a vision
of the divine Goddess, it's a darshan.
This is the phenomenon of darshan. It is
capable of binding two people through a spontaneous "recognition" at the
unmanifest level. In common parlance the hope is that when you seek the
darshan of another, somehow the spiritual
nuances will influence your being with a positive consequence for your
I am sorry if this sounds complicated. But, this
is what is happening at the beginning of a relationship. Now you know why
they just about always fail.
Now the importance of seed-ideas is being explained.
Seed-ideas are the working models of aphorisms, which tend to be tersely
worded or condensed statements of first principles. They appear to be simple
and straightforward in their import on the listeners. Upon acceptance by
the pupils, they operate on their belief systems from the inside. Over
time, they can change their fundamental attitude to the philosophies of
I urge you to recall the two sets of
the seed-ideas with a quiet mind at least once a day before going into
Our magic wand
trishule symbolizes the integration of our three solitudes or spaces, namely,
Physical/mental, Emotional/Astral and Spiritual into a single axis. This
axis is physically present in our body. You can work wonders with your
health and well-being with this knowledge.
For questions and information Email:
Material on this and linked pages at this site
is the intellectual offering of Ravi Sadana, derived from his two
This will prepare you for the challenges of this difficult millenium.
Please feel free to browse and review the writing samples and
Kiren-maya's choice readings.
Servant of humanity, Updated on: October 9,
Please drop by again. New artistic and behavioral
insights are added frequently.
Back to Town
Thank you for being visitor no: